She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
