before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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