How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
