I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
