Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
