Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
