Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
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