I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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