I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
