okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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