did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
