What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize