You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
