You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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