I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize