i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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