bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize