:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
