we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
