So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
