Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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