I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
