is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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