Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You can't just leave with hair like that
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
