is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
