yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
