So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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