I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
