It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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