Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
