I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
