I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
