Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
