he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
