Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
