I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
