okay pat passed out under dana's car
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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