my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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