I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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