okay pat passed out under dana's car
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
