you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
