yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
