he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
