how can u be prego again
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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