you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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