Tell her she can't have a vagina
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
