dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Randomize
