You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
