you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
