How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
