that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
