It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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