He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize