So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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