drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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