I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
