he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize