Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
