The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
