Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I wear drunk well.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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