I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
