oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
