i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
You're like the curious george of whores
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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