When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
