If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
